Solos y solas : búsquedas de encuentros eróticos y afectivos entre mujeres y varones heterosexuales (Área Metropolitana de Buenos Aires, 2015-2017)


D’Antonio, Débora

Spatial Coverage

Temporal Coverage





318 p.


Atribución-NoComercial-SinDerivadas 2.0 Genérica (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)




Buenos Aires (province)


The objective of this dissertation is to describe and analyze, based on an interactionist approach, the erotic and/or affective encounters and interactions taking place between heterosexual women and men between the ages of 35 and 50 who are not currently in a relationship –bachelors and single women, divorcees, and those who are separated- residing in the Buenos Aires Metropolitan Area (2015-2017). These interactions may occur in face-to-face or virtual recreational settings.

To that end, in the following chapters I will examine and compare the motivations, expectations and standards with which women and men engage in their search for erotic and/or affective bonds; that is, what class characteristics, erotic or gender attributes make the opposite individual appear as attractive. I analyze the perceptions, both social and subjective, that subjects possess regarding being single. I describe, analyze and compare the spaces for face-toface encounters and virtual dating platforms used by those interviewed, shedding light on their characteristics and dynamics, as well as the specific meaning and utility that the subjects ascribe to said spaces. I describe and analyze the interactions taking place during these encounters, taking note of the dynamics of sociability that arise therein: from the heteronormative assumptions, the romantic guidelines and patterns of seduction, to the standards of selection that the subjects apply. Finally, as a secondary point of focus, I examine whether maternity and paternity has any affect on the search for erotic and affective bonds, and if so, in what manner. The methodology used for this dissertation is based on a qualitative approach. The data employed was established through in-person and virtual participant observation, as well as indepth interviews; through the use of spatial interaction maps; by surveying and analyzing journalistic articles dealing with face-to-face and virtual sociability, as well as by consulting the websites belonging to those spaces.

This dissertation shows that, within a context where individualization and new dynamics of partner-forming take place, heterosexual women and men engage in erotic and affective bonds of a circuitous nature, wherein romantic love continues to hold, at least as a horizon of meaning, a predominant role. Hence, new approaches to searching for erotic and/or affective bonds emerge. These findings are problematized from a variety of perspectives in the following chapters.

The dissertation consists of an initial methodological chapter, two main sections, a summary chapter and a concluding section. In the first section, accounting for chapters 2 and 3, I concentrate my analysis on the search for the erotic and/or affective encounters. I analyze in chapter 2 the lived-experience of not being in a relationship as it is experienced by single, divorced or separated individuals, as well as the expectations and motivations they possess when searching for erotic and/or affective bonds. To that end, I take into account factors of age, gender and class, as well as the way in which heteronormative and romantic guidelines are operative. In chapter 3, I describe and analyze the selection standards used by single men and women when searching for erotic and/or affective encounters. The standards that affect this instance of sociability include social class, age, gender expectations and physical traits, among others. Based on this analysis, I perform an inquiry into the ways in which people perceive and utilize these face-to-face and virtual spaces of sociability for the purpose of erotic and/or affective encounters.

The second section -comprised of chapters 4, 5 and 6- is dedicated to analyzing the interactions taking place in spaces of erotic and/or affective sociability. Chapter 4 specifically examines the virtual dating market and the face-to-face encounters that the subjects take part in, allowing me to formulate a conceptual framework in order to better understand the interactions and affective bonds formed between organizers and clients. In chapter 5, I examine the interactions that arise in face-to-face spaces of sociability. I analyze the patterns of courtship and seduction, the emotions that circulate in the process, the relation between different forms of corporality and erotic capital, and the different levels of emotional energy involved in each situation. Finally, in chapter 6, I offer a detailed description and analysis of the scenes of a first date. I address, on the one hand, cases where the first introduction was made possible by virtual spaces of erotic and/or affective sociability; separately, I address those cases where the initial introduction took place in face-to-face settings. To that end, I perform an inquiry into the heteronormative and romantic social guidelines that orient the interaction, as well as consumption patterns and expectations that arise, according to accounts provided by participating men and women.

Table Of Contents


1. Contexto
2. Objetivos de investigación y aporte
3. Coordenadas teóricas e hipótesis
4. Investigar el amor desde las ciencias sociales. Delimitación del campo y cómo lo investigo
5. Estructura

Capítulo 1. Investigar sobre afectividad y sexualidad. Metodología y reflexividad
1. Estrategia metodológica
1.1. Observaciones
1.2. Entrevistas
1.3. Mapas de los espacios de interacción
1.4. Notas periodísticas y sitios web
2. Propuesta epistemológica y reflexividad
2.1. De investigadora a “asesora sentimental”

PRIMERA PARTE: Las búsquedas de encuentros eróticos y/o afectivos

Capítulo 2. El no estar en pareja. Motivaciones y expectativas en la búsqueda de vínculos eróticos y/o afectivos
1. Individualización, soltería y amor como (pos)religión
2. Estar solo/a y soledad
2.1. Soltería como reencuentro subjetivo y libertad
2.2. Soltería como soledad
2.3. La desesperación en la soltería
3. Motivaciones y expectativas
3.1. Motivaciones y expectativas románticas
3.2. Motivaciones: maternidad y paternidad
3.3. El entorno como actante motivacional en las búsquedas
4. Recapitulación y conclusiones

Capítulo 3. Sociabilidad y criterios de selección en las búsquedas de vínculos eróticos y/o afectivos
1. Las sociabilidades eróticas y afectivas en el tiempo de las apps
2. Los criterios de selección. ¿Qué vuelve al/la otro/a más deseable?
2.1. El estilo de vida y la marca de clase
2.2. Sex appeal y género
2.3. Tipo de vínculo
3. Percepciones y usos de los espacios de sociabilidad
3.1. Comodidad, seguridad, accesibilidad y cantidad
3.2. Apreciaciones y usos de las aplicaciones y sitios de citas
3.3. Efectos en el erotismo y la autoestima
4. Recapitulación y conclusiones

SEGUNDA PARTE: Las interacciones en los espacios de encuentro erótico y/o afectivo

Capítulo 4. El mercado erótico y afectivo: los espacios de búsqueda y el papel de los/as empresarios/as del amor
1. Servicios para la vida emocional
2. Descripción del mercado erótico y/o afectivo
2.1. El mercado cara a cara
2.1.1. Catas entre amigos: el vino como estandarte
2.1.2. Speed dating: el compromiso por el cuidado y el respeto
2.1.3. Un ambiente de contención: las clases de salsa y bachata
2.2. El mercado virtual: aplicaciones y sitios de citas
3. Un análisis de la relación entre emprendedores/as y clientes/as
3.1. Catas de vino: el psicólogo
3.2. Speed dating: la coach
3.3. Salsa y bachata: un cambio de vida
4. Recapitulación y conclusiones

Capítulo 5. La energía emocional en las interacciones cara a cara
1. Coordenadas teóricas interaccionistas
2. Interacciones situadas
2.1. Catas de vino: la tercera copa y la sommelier
2.2. Speed dating: el juego y los minutos eternos
2.3. Clases de salsa y bachata: la pedagogía erótica y los chismes
3. Recapitulación y conclusiones

Capítulo 6. La primera cita
1. Lineamientos teóricos contextuales
2. Análisis de la primera cita…
2.1. El ámbito virtual como puente para la primera cita cara a cara
2.2. Del ámbito cara a cara a la primera cita cara a cara
3. Recapitulación y conclusiones

Referencias bibliográficas
Fuentes documentales
Anexo 1. Descripción Muestra Varones
Anexo 2. Descripción Muestra Mujeres
Anexo 3. Listado de entrevistas a organizadores/as de espacios de sociabilidad cara a cara
Anexo 4. Entrevistados/as que han concurrido a ámbitos de sociabilidad erótica y/o afectiva desde la década del noventa
Anexo 5. Mapa 8: Mapa de las comunas de la Ciudad de Buenos Aires
Anexo 6. Infografía sobre los niveles de análisis de la tesis

Título obtenido

Doctora de la Universidad de Buenos Aires en Ciencias Sociales

Institución otorgante

Universidad de Buenos Aires. Facultad de Ciencias Sociales

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